Have you ever shared something in confidence, only to discover that days later everyone seems to know? I’ve been on the brunt end of that breach more times than I can count and I would imagine you have too.
The typical, visceral and understandable reaction to that lack of safety with others is: “I will never tell anyone anything ever again.“
Perfect. That’s just what the enemy of our souls would desire. Lack of safe environments leads to withdrawal, withdrawal to loneliness and loneliness to isolation. And continued isolation is death. Especially in the life of a believer.
So how do we operate in the opposite spirit? How do we counteract the plans of the enemy and step into life-giving community with other believers?
I propose WE become safe people first.
-Get safe in grace.
I haven’t met a person yet, myself included, who isn’t in need of the saving grace of Jesus Christ. His sacrifice made the way and His Spirit adopted us into His family. God’s kindness is what led us to repentance.
All of that invites you moment by moment into a deeper relationship with a grace-filled God. Your sins, your joys, your struggles, your doubts, your hopes, your fears, your tears… His grace lovingly invites you to crawl into the safety of his lap, lean your head on his chest, and pour out your heart to a loving God. No performance, no shame. He is your refuge, your shield, your hiding place, your rock. Your very present help in time of need. When you get safe in His grace, you can begin to extend it to others.
-Create a safe face with curiosity
You have two eyes, two ears and one mouth. Create a posture of looking and listening that invites vulnerability in others. Your eyes can be empathetic or judgmental, you choose. Your ears can absorb opportunities that invite the “story under the story.” And your mouth can speak life by asking questions, staying curious and being a fountain of encouragement.
When you’ve received grace from God, you are then in a position to pour it back out. Handle the moment as sacred, a privilege and a gift to be cherished. Be the person you wish you had when you were going through the moment you wish you weren’t.